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Why men withdraw after intimacy

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Why men withdraw after intimacy

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The ratings typically go downhill over time. The successful marriages are defined not by improvement, but by avoiding decline. The thrill of infatuation fades, so the euphoria that initially bonded a couple cannot sustain them over the decades, but most couples find other sources of contentment and remain satisfied overall just not as satisfied as at the beginning. Sometimes, though, the decline in satisfaction is so steep that it dooms a marriage.

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By Caroline Colvin November 19, Apart from enjoying the warm embrace of someone you're into, cuddling after sex has its benefits. Mainly, your body releases the feel-good chemical oxytocinoften called "the cuddling hormone.

Why men pull away after sex (and what you can do about it!)

Maybe your partner isn't into the idea of pressing your hot, sticky, post-orgasm bodies together, and they just need time to cool down. Or perhaps cuddling feels a little too intimate, especially if you two are just friends with benefits. Your sexual partner could also have a completely different aversion to cuddling that you witbdraw no idea about. Whatever the case may be, if you want to cuddle after sex and afyer partner never does, consider talking to them about it.

Maybe you'll change their mind and find a compromise.

Maybe you won't. But either way, unpacking why they seem to be uninterested in cuddling you after sex can help shed some light on what makes them tick, what your needs are as a duo, and how you can resolve issues in the bedroom together.

Here's what two sex and dating experts had to say about how to approach the post-coital cuddling conversation with everyone's needs and well-being in mind. Formally known as post-coital tristesse PCT or post-coital dysphoria PCDpeople who experience this condition often withdraw after sex or feel an intense comedown.

Jessica O'Reillythe resident sex and relationship expert for Astroglideacknowledges that next to pre-existing sadness or trauma, your partner's physiological reaction to sex could be why they're feeling down. Irene Fehra sex and intimacy coach, also cites post-orgasm tiredness as a reason why cuddling might not be on the menu for your partner.

The silent treatment – how emotional withdrawal dissolves love

So, in order to keep their own distance, or to intlmacy you can keep yours, they opt out of touch outside of the sexual act itself," Boodram explains. Fehr agrees, saying, "When things slow down and you no longer have to do anything, cuddling after sex is a very tender, vulnerable activity — a time to put down your guard or performance, and face each other in the raw.

It is intimate, and it can feel intimidating and scary for many people who might otherwise hide behind sexual performance or an emotional wall. Instead, Fehr says, "Find a time when you both feel relaxed, calm, and present with each other. Ask them about their favorite parts of getting intimate and what defines good sex for them.

Hopefully, your partner will ask you these questions back, Boodram says, which will allow you to express your needs, too. This piece is important," Fehr says. If their reasons are physical, maybe there's a way you can make them feel more relaxed and comfortable while cuddling.

If the reasons are related to emotions or intimacy, see if there's a way to make them feel safe or to slow things down. Fehr suggests trying out a short, non-sexual cuddling session as a trial run.

Even though this can be frustrating, their feelings are valid. So, you will probably have to ask yourself if not cuddling after sex is something you can go without.

Likewise, your partner will have to ask themselves if they can fulfill your needs, or if you're asking too much. Whatever the outcome of your conversation with your partner, approaching your talk with intimacy, patience, and understanding will be helpful. This could be a golden opportunity to reconnect as partners and really improve your sex life. Ad even if cuddling after sex seems like just a "small thing," remember: Even the "small" things are always worth a conversation.